Yui, the Suzaku no Miko, loves Tamahome, one of her Seishi. However, Hotohori also loves her. Nevertheless, she confessed her love to Tamahome and was refused. Suddenly, Yui fell ill with a terrible fever...

Episode Five:

"Here, drink this," the doctor said, pouring some medicinal tea into Yui's mouth. She swallowed, sending a burning sensation through her raw throat.

"Yui." She heard Hotohori's voice and felt his gentle hand stroke her hair. She forced her eyes open for a moment and saw him, Tamahome, and Nuriko beside her bed, then let them shut again. She felt hot and drowsy, but couldn't seem to fall asleep...

"What was she doing out in town in the rain, anyway?" Nuriko asked, glaring at Tamahome.

"Well... she was with me," he admitted.

"What happened?" Hotohori asked sternly. "I expect the truth."

"I... well..." Tamahome swallowed hard. "A gang picked a fight with me, but she wasn't hurt. We were about to come back when it started raining, and she just collapsed."

"Your majesty," the doctor said, "Lady Yui has been under much stress these last few days. Being the Suzaku no Miko is a heavy responsibility. It's exhausted her."

"Will she recover?" Nuriko asked.

"It's difficult to say. Some good rest will help, but her recovery depends on her own will."

"She does look rather sad, doesn't she...?" Hotohori said in a low voice.

"She's probably homesick," Nuriko agreed. "She's a very long way from her friends and family. From everything she knows and loves."

"Too bad there's not a way to send her back to her world," Tamahome agreed. "I bet she could get better there."

"I would hate to lose her," Hotohori said, "but we must think of her first... Perhaps Taiitsukun would know of a way."

"But how could we find Taiitsukun?" Nuriko asked.

"According to the Universe of the Four Gods,' Taiitsukun lives on Mt. Taikyoku. It's a few days' travel there."

"Your majesty, it might be hard on Lady Yui to be traveling at a time like this," the doctor interceded.

"If we leave her like this, she won't get any better," Hotohori replied.

*

"Tamahome," Yui muttered, slowly opening her eyes. Her mind was fuzzy as she thought back to her last memory of him, in the alley...

"I don't feel the same way." How could he say that so bluntly? How could he be so cruel?! Even if he didn't love her, didn't he care enough to let her down easy? Apparently not... Somehow, though, even though she was angry, she couldn't bring herself to dislike him, not even if she wanted to. How stupid of me. He gave me his answer; I ought to respect his feelings...

"How are you feeling?" Hotohori asked.

Yui realized he had been there and heard her say Tamahome's name, and paused awkwardly. She remembered the way she had felt when Tamahome said he didn't love her, the shock and pain and shame... Is that how Hotohori felt when...? Here I am crying how Tamahome shouldn't have been so blunt, when I was even less considerate, and he managed to take it gracefully... "A little better," she finally said.

"You wish you were at home, don't you?"

Yui nodded. Being sick was always miserable, but how much better it would be at home, in her own bed, surrounded by her own familiar room, with her desk, and her books, and her stuffed Mokona, with her mother caring for her...

"I think there may be a way for you to go home," Hotohori said.

"There is?"

"We can take you to Mt. Taikyoku to see Taiitsukun."

"The one who manages the world?"

He nodded. "She may know a way to send you home. It's a few days' travel, though. Do you think you can do it?"

"I'm willing to try. I think I can," Yui said. " But what will you do if I'm not here to summon Suzaku?"

He smiled slightly. "As your Seishi, our first duty is to protect you. Your good health is the most important thing."

"Hotohori," she said softly, smiling slightly.

"But please, promise me one thing: that when you've recovered, you'll return to Konan, and to me."

Yui pushed herself up slowly and sat for a moment. "I don't know if I can promise that. I don't know what might happen after I return to my world..." If I leave and don't come back, there will probably come a day when I'll think this was all a dream, she thought. It made her heart feel heavy. In these few days, her life here had become such a tangle of problems... but to turn her back on it and these people would be cowardly of her. Still, to see her parents and her brother again, to see Miaka again...

Hotohori took her hand. "Yui, when I asked you to become the Suzaku no Miko, you said you would do your best. You know I won't ask any more of you than that."

"I... I'm sorry," she apologized.

He lowered his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Of course, it isn't as if I would deny you the chance to see your home again. I can only imagine how I would feel if I were taken away from Konan."

"I'm sorry about this, and I'm sorry about what happened the other night. I'm afraid I'm just disappointing you one way after another."

"Don't apologize," he said, hugging her. "You were right; it was wrong of me to take you for granted. Even as things have turned out, I'm happy that I met you."

Yui opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Instead, she let herself relax against the soft silk of his robes. If one could look past his station as Emperor, he was such a kind person. If she had met him first, instead of Tamahome, perhaps she would have fallen in love with him instead. In a way, it almost seemed like a loss that things hadn't worked that way. Since Tamahome said... Maybe I should... No. She couldn't just make up her mind who to love. It wouldn't be fair of her to take advantage of all those years Hotohori had waited for the Suzaku no Miko when it was Tamahome she really loved...

Still, his embrace was so comforting...

*

"Sire, you really needn't go with them," one of the ministers insisted as Hotohori checked over his horse.

"I'll only be gone for a few days," Hotohori said. "Besides, how am I to govern effectively if I never see the country?"

"But even dressed casually, you still look dignified!"

Hotohori laughed. "No matter how you say it, it's still a compliment."

Yui chuckled a little. Cognitively, she knew his vanity was a flaw, but somehow it was endearing and almost funny.

"Are you ready?" Hotohori asked, helping Yui onto his horse.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She wished that she could ride with Tamahome, but that would just be awkward. It was probably better this way...

*

"‘The Suzaku no Miko and her Seishi traveled all day,'" Miaka read stiltingly. "‘Finally, the sun began to set, and they stopped for the evening. Nuriko left the group for a short time. Then, the Suzaku no Miko's fever returned.'"

*

"Hey, anyone see where the Purple Pest went?" Tamahome asked.

"Tamahome," Hotohori said reproachfully.

"I haven't seen him," Yui answered, shivering. The fever had been tolerable all day, but now it was coming back with a vengeance. She had to find some way to bring it down... They'd passed a stream not long ago; if she listened, she could still hear the water. "If you don't mind, I think I'm going to go down to the river for awhile..."

"Be careful," Hotohori said.

"I will," Yui assured him, getting up and heading for the sound of the water. She walked for close to ten minutes, grasping tree limbs and trunks from time to time to keep her balance. I'm getting close, it's very loud here, she thought at at last. It should be just past these bushes. She pushed through them, and stopped short. "I'm sorry!" she said, swiftly turning away. "I didn't realize anyone else would be..." I can't have seen that right.

What she had seen a moment before was still in her mind's eye, like a photograph. There was definitely a woman already bathing in the river, and at first she assumed it must be someone who lived nearby. But, as she thought about it, that long, violet hair, and those eyes... She glanced slightly to her left, and saw a familar set of clothing hanging on a branch nearby. "Nuriko...!?"

"Yui!" the guard gasped. There was a sloshing of water as he swiftly approached, and then his arm shot past her to grab his shirt from the branch.

Yui stood speechless for a moment. "Ah, Nuriko," she finally started. "I must really be sick. I just thought I saw the craziest thing..." Thinking he probably had his shirt on by then, she twisted around a bit. Nuriko was still damp from his bath, so the shirt clung to... ‘him'... That is not the shape of a man...

"Yui, promise me you won't tell anyone," Nuriko begged. "If anyone finds out I'm a woman, everything I've worked for is over. You understand that, don't you?"

"I think so..." Yui reminded herself again that this was ancient China. Here there were certain rules about where a woman's place in society was and wasn't, and they didn't mention anything at all like Nuriko.

"Please, promise me," Nuriko pleaded.

"Of course." It was such a shock, not the sort of thing Yui could forget about. She felt like she would burst to keep such a secret inside, but in a few days they would be to Mt. Taikyoku and she would be home. Surely that long wouldn't be so hard.

"Thank you," Nuriko breathed in relief, hugging her.

"In a way, I suppose I should have guessed. You knew I was in love with Tamahome before he had any clue. Feminine sensitivity, I suppose."

"Well, I would like to think it has less to do with my gender and more to do with my intelligence." Nuriko paused for a moment, then chuckled. "Of course, how can you tell which it is? Apparently Tamahome is both a man and stupid."

"Well, I don't think stupid exactly," Yui said defensively. She sighed. "I shouldn't talk about him not knowing how I feel. I don't even know how I feel right now..."

"Torn in two?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know Hotohori-sama is fond of you. Perhaps a part of you returns those feelings."

"I think about it sometimes, but... it just wouldn't be fair. To either of us."

"How so?"

Yui paused. "I know it's stupid, since he said no, but I still love Tamahome. Neither of us would end up happy if I chose Hotohori out of convenience, ‘on the rebound,' as they say in my world."

"I can understand that," Nuriko admitted. "And this pains me to say because I do not like the man, but I think that Tamahome likes you too, despite how he acts."

"I've always thought so, too... I thought I might have been deluding myself, though."

"Ah, but in a way, you are, Yui. It's a first relationship for both of you, a first exploration into love. It probably won't last."

"No! I..." Yui stopped. Thinking about it academically, that did seem sensible, but the way she felt... certainly not. Of course, what right do I have to swear it will last? I'm confused after just a few days, and he told me he didn't feel that way...

Nuriko picked up a flat rock and skipped it across the water, sitting on the bank. "Of course, it would be Hotohori-sama's first relationship, too--as I'm sure you could tell."

"You might say that," Yui said, sitting beside her. "I know he meant well, but... that was scary!"

Nuriko laughed slightly. "I think you are the only woman in Konan who would feel that way if the Emperor confessed his undying love for her. In fact, I'm sure your response shocked him."

Yui looked away. "I realized later how that must have sounded to him. I didn't mean to hurt him like that..."

"That's actually my point. If you had done that to Tamahome, I imagine he would have laughed you off like you were an annoying little sister telling him you hated him. But Hotohori-sama took it hard. I think, even though it is his first relationship, it is different with him. Deeper, somehow. If you can, think about this rationally for a moment, and compare your personality to Tamahome's, and then to Lord Hotohori's. Who do you think you would last longer with?"

"They say opposites attract," Yui protested weakly.

"They lie."

Yui was starting to feel like her mind and her heart were tied in knots. "I'll think about it," she said, not wanting to talk about it any more.

Nuriko nodded in understanding. "What are you doing down here, anyway?"

"My fever was coming back, so I was going to get in the water to cool off."

"Are you sure that's safe for..." Nuriko trailed off, then burst out laughing. "For a woman alone?" she managed to finish.

"Well, I don't know, what do you think?" Yui joked.

Nuriko laughed again. "If you want, I'll stay nearby until you're done." She gestured to her now-damp shirt, still clinging to her tightly. "I can't very well go back like this."

"That would probably be best," Yui said.

"All right," Nuriko said, gathering the rest of her clothes. "I'll be just behind these bushes if you need me."

*

"Are you gonna run off again when there's work to be done?" Tamahome asked Nuriko as the group broke camp the next morning.

Nuriko shot him a glare that immediately shut him up. "Does anyone know where Hotohori-sama went?"

"I think he went that way," Tamahome said, gesturing. Anything to get you away from me.

"Thanks," Nuriko said, heading in the prescribed direction."Hotohori-sama?"

"Ah, Nuriko, could you come over here?" he questioned.

"Yes, sire? What is it?"

"I need some help with something," he said slowly. "It's rather embarassing..."

"I'll do what I can, of course, sire. What is it?"

"Well, I.... I have to shave and I'm not quite sure how to do it..."

"You... don't know how to shave?" Nuriko asked slowly.

"Didn't I say that?"

"My apologies, I..." Nuriko blushed slightly. "I don't think I'm the best person to teach you, though."

"I'm afraid you're the only one here to do it."

"Ah, but... what about Tamahome?"

"I'd prefer to avoid that possibility."

"Well, it's just that... I'm rather infamous for nicking myself." Nuriko gestured to a nick a few days old on her chin. "It's almost a joke among the guard. I seem to do it at least once every week or two." Purposely as part of my disguise, she nervously thought. Four years without a hint of doubt, and now suddenly her ‘manhood' had been challenged twice in two days. Have I angered the fates, what is this?

"Very well then," he sighed. He didn't want Yui to see him looking like that, even though she was the only one left for whom it was avoidable... "Could you ask Tamahome to come over, please?"

"Of course, sire," Nuriko said, bowing. "I'm sorry I couldn't be of more service." She returned to the others and tapped Tamahome on the shoulder.

"OW! Watch what you're doing!" he snapped.

"I just tapped you a little bit!"

"Your ‘little bit' could break somebody's arm!"

"Don't tempt me," Nuriko growled. Yui sighed heavily as she packed her things up. "Lord Hotohori wants you to go to him."

"Huh? Uh, why?"

"He has his reasons, and it's not your place to question them," Nuriko said, taking him by the collar and half-"guiding", half-throwing him in that direction. "Now GO!"

"Geez, I'm going, I'm going!" he said, and walked off grumbling that ‘a muscle-brained oaf should at least look like one.' "Hotohori-sama?"

"I'm right here."

"Oh, well, what did you..." Tamahome trailed off. His emperor with whiskers was definitely an interesting sight.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Tamahome blinked at him for a moment. "You mean, you need my help to...?"

He's going to make me say this again, isn't he? "To shave, yes."

Tamahome had to forcibly bite his tongue. Laughing at your emperor was treasonous, wasn't it?

"Don't laugh!" Hotohori hissed.

*

"I wonder what Tamahome thinks is so funny," Yui remarked as Nuriko finished loading the horses. "I think he's been laughing for a good ten minutes."

"Don't worry, I'll chat with him about it later," Nuriko said.

"Do you two really have to... ‘chat' so much?"

"Would you deny that Tamahome needs it?"

"Well..." Yui started. About that time Tamahome emerged from the trees, so she decided it would be best to remain silent. "What was so funny, Tamahome?"

"Absolutely nothing," Hotohori answered, walking up and helping Yui onto the horse. She noticed a cut along his chin.

As the group started riding along the path again, Nuriko reached over and grabbed a fistful of Tamahome's shirt. "I think you and I need to talk, Tamahome-kun."

"Hotohori, remember when you said you'd order them to get along?" Yui asked jokingly as the other two fell behind amid sounds of personal violence.

"Tempting, isn't it?" he said with a wry smile.

"I have to admit, somewhat." They rode on for several moments, the silence only broken by the sounds of Tamahome and Nuriko's ‘chat' behind them. "Penny for your thoughts."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a saying from my world," she explained. "It just means ‘what's on your mind?'"

"I'm just looking at the forest," he said. "Most of the trees I've seen in my life are in the palace gardens, never growing wild like this."

"I guess you don't get to go sight-seeing very often."

"No. I've scarcely even been out of the palace before now."

"Really?" Yui asked. She thought about all the family outings and class trips she took for granted that had taken her miles from her home. "I can only imagine what that would be like."

"It's been difficult at times," he said. "I don't suppose I really noticed it when I was a child, but when I was fourteen years old, I succeeded my father as Emperor. It was my mother's wish that I take the throne, but I was only a puppet. The year after that, she passed away as well."

"I'm so sorry," Yui said.

He sighed. "I learned a lot from her. She was a great leader and administrator, and I respected her for that, but there was little love between us. Still, after she died, life around me became unearthly quiet. The only people I saw were the royal vassals and my advisors. Somewhere in the midst of that silence, I realized that I was alone. ‘The Emperor' had his servants and ministers, but I had no one. I became like a bird in a cage... I have always wanted to be something more than just an office, but my duties leave me hardly any freedom to do so. There have been moments when I look about at the palace, the ministers, and all the trappings of my station, and for one terrible moment I think perhaps that's all I am."

"That isn't true," Yui assured him. "I know there's more to you than just being the Emperor. In fact, when I found out that was what you were, I was surprised how... how kind and human you were." Yui couldn't see him sitting behind her, but he moved a bit and she got the idea he was embarrassed. "I'm sorry. But I understand, in a way. My life has been nowhere close to that, but sometimes I seem closed in as well. I know it's not the same thing, but I've always been ‘the class brain', and nothing else. I'm so afraid of what will happen if I fall out of that role, sometimes I've studied so much that I lost sight of why I was even doing it. I don't have many friends... It's as though people see the role, and not you or me, I suppose. Of course, I guess this must all sound trivial after what you've been through."

"Not at all," he said. "If it's important to you, it isn't trivial." He put one arm around her and hugged her. "I wish that I could be with you forever."

Yui stiffened a bit under his touch, and he let go of her. "What I mean is, when I'm with you, I don't feel lonely," he said softly.

"If you don't knock it off, Nuriko, I'm gonna..."

"You're gonna what?" Nuriko challenged as they trotted up. Tamahome just grumbled under his breath. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Hello, Hotohori-sama; hi, Yui!"

*

"These are the Sei of Suzaku?" Taiitsukun said to herself, looking at the group reflected in one of her myriad mirrors. "Rather a mismatched group, aren't they?" Tamahome and Nuriko gave every indication of hating each other, Hotohori stayed imperially aloof from both of them, and Yui didn't even know how she felt about any of her Sei. "And they think they can achieve this mountain?" Taiitsukun sighed heavily. "What could Suzaku have been thinking when he chose this group?"

"Well, Suzaku no Miko, if you think you're worthy to see this place, then I welcome you to try." She looked over the mirrors ranged about her. "Ah, this one will make a perfect test..."

*

"Girl, will you please stop doing that?" Tamahome groaned, sliding off his horse.

"Doing what?" Yui asked as Hotohori helped her down.

"Staring at me and sighing heavily. It's very annoying."

Yui turned away and blushed. Admittedly she had been keeping her eyes on Tamahome, as if to remind herself how much she loved him, but that he had noticed... She wished she could run away and hide somewhere...

Tamahome turned to get a bag from his horse and found himself nose to nose with Nuriko. "Augh!"

"Were you born a jerk, or do you practice?" she asked.

"I am not a jerk! It IS annoying to have someone giving you puppy eyes everytime you look up."

"Oh, like you aren't enjoying it."

"What?"

"Come off it, do you really think you're fooling anyone?" Nuriko protested. "You like her too, just admit it before you completely break her heart."

"You really don't have to do this..." Yui whispered, blushing fiercely.

"Excuse me...?" Hotohori queried as she tried to shrink behind him.

"Oh, come on!" Tamahome said. "I'm not going starry-eyed over anyone, and if I was, it's be a real woman, not some... some scrawny little kid who keeps getting under my feet!"

A heavy silence descended over the group. For Yui, time seemed to stop. How could he say that!? "Tamahome, you're cruel!" she screamed, and took off running.

"Wait, Yui!" he called. "I didn't mean--" He stopped short as a saddlebag impacted on his head. "OW! Nuriko!"

"Guess again," Hotohori growled, toying with the idea of hitting him a second time. Or perhaps even a third.

"Yui, wait!" Nuriko shouted, starting after her. She barely managed two steps before a dense fog poured into the clearing. "What is this...? This isn't natural..." Yui was already hidden by the thick mist.

*

Yui didn't run very far before she stopped and let herself fall to a seat at the foot of a tree. She was too sick to be exerting herself like that, and her leg was still sore. How could he!? He knows how I feel about him. I came right out and said it! Doesn't he care about me at all? The walk in the garden... bandaging her leg... Was all that for no reason? Just a Sei's duty to ‘some scrawny little kid'? And after saying such a horrible thing, was he starting to say he didn't even MEAN it? That he had just put her through that for nothing? What kind of man would do that?

She wiped tears from her eyes. I shouldn't be letting it hurt me like this. If he's so cruel, why do I keep letting him do this to me? If this kept up, if she kept letting him destroy her world with a word... She loved Tamahome, but she knew he would keep doing it, by carelessness if not malice.

I don't know why I'm making so much of this, she thought. In another day, I'll be back in my world, and realistically, I'll probably never see this place, or any of these people, again...

I don't want it to be that way, Yui realized. Even in these few days, she had made so many friends... So many people had come to depend on her, and she had come to care deeply about them. I don't want to leave this place and never come back. I don't want to leave my friends here forever. I don't want to abandon this place when I said I'd protect it. I don't want to leave him alone...

Suddenly, Yui realized. The ‘him' in that thought was not Tamahome. "What I mean is, when I'm with you, I don't feel lonely." Certainly, if she chose Hotohori out of convenience, ‘on the rebound,' it wouldn't be fair to either of them, but how much more unfair would it be if there really was love there, love he had waited so long for, and she pushed him away? What is this? Am I just being fickle? She couldn't act impulsively in this, but somehow... it just seemed right. In all this mess of a love triangle, it was the ‘rightest' feeling thing she had thought in some time...

"Onee-chan!"

She was snapped out of her reverie by the familiar voice. "Azami-chan?" She looked around. The forest had suddenly filled with a thick fog, and she couldn't see even a glimpse of her three Seishi.

"Onee-chan, are you there?" her sister called again.

"I'm here!" she called. She knew she had to find that voice. Her sister was only six years old; if she were out here alone... But something about this wasn't right... What's my little sister doing out here? Is this it? Is this my way home? Why do I have to go without even saying goodbye...?

"Yui, please, follow the sound of my voice! You don't have much time if you want to come home."

She hesitated for a moment. If this is my only chance... "I'm coming!" She pulled herself to her feet and ran toward her sister's voice. Suddenly, the fog before her cleared. That was her living room!

"Onee-chan, over here!" her sister shouted, standing beside the glass-topped coffee table.

"I'm coming!" Yui called again, running into the room. Suddenly, there was a feeling of motion behind her, like a door soundlessly slammed shut. "What the--" She turned back, only to feel an invisible wall behind her.

"What a selfish girl I am," came a horribly familiar voice, her own. Yui whipped around and found herself face to face not with her little sister, but with herself, an exact replica, only darker somehow, with a cynical glint in her eyes. "Running away without so much as a goodbye to anyone, when you know how much Hotohori cares for you.

"Welcome inside the mirror, Suzaku no Miko. You're going to be in here a very long time."

*

"Inside the Mirror was another Suzaku no Miko. She sneered at the girl.'" Miaka read. Whoa, weird!

To Be Continued...

*

PREVIEW

Yui is trapped inside Taiitsukun's mirror while a shadow of herself threatens her Seishi. Only their devotion to each other can save them.

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