†††

“We could’ve been in Berlin by now, you know,” Kamatari said, folding her hands behind her head as they walked down the Dutch country road.

“Well, I brought you along for free,” Soujiro said. “I thought you’d be happy. After all, we did get to see London, and you got your dress in Paris, and Rome was so great, didn’t you think?”

“They were a lot better than this place.”

“But I told Himura-san I’d see how his friend was doing. You don’t want me to go around breaking my word, do you?”

“To him? Yes. Geez, what a pest. I don’t know how you put up with him at all.”

“You’ve never actually met him, have you, Kamatari-san?”

“I don’t need to. I hate him already.”

Soujiro sighed. Kamatari considered it traitorous for him to even suffer the existence of Himura Kenshin, ‘after he killed Shishio-sama,’ let alone be on friendly terms with him. As if showing up in time to save him, the pointed roof of a church-steeple, topped with a cross, came into view over the top of the hill. “Ah, I bet that’s it.”

“Finally. Let’s hope they don’t laugh about your clothes too much.”

“These people are from Japan. They probably wear kimono and hakama too.”

“You just look like such a tourist, dressed like that all over Europe.”

“That’s okay. I am a tourist.”

She rolled her eyes as the village came closer, little more than a cluster of houses with vegetable gardens all around it. It wasn’t a large village, and didn’t look like a rich one either, except for one white building right in the middle of it, a church with large stained glass windows and that towering steeple. “Ahh, isn’t that pretty?” Soujiro said, pointing at it.

“You’ve been to Notre Dame Cathedral and this impresses you? You really don’t have any sophistication at all, do you?”

He was already going down one of the side-paths to talk to a woman working in one of the gardens. “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m looking for Mr. Muto Shougo? Do you know where he is?”

“Ah, yes,” the woman said. “Shougo-sama will be in the church, probably. Why do you want to see him?”

“A friend asked me to see how he was doing, since I was going to be around here. Thank you very much!”

The two walked into the town, Kamatari following at a bored pace as Soujiro made his way to the church and up the stone steps. The white building was attractive from the outside, but when he opened the doors, he was met by a world of rich color as the light from the stained glass windows spilled over the plain wooden floors and benches. Three people were standing toward the far end of the building, between the rows of pews.

“Ahh, it’s so beautiful!” Soujiro said, walking forward into the light. “Like the Pantheon! You’d never guess this when you see the outside.”

“Excuse me?” said one of the men, with long, straight black hair and an angular face. “Who are you?”

“Ah, sorry!” Soujiro said, coming up to them and bowing. “My name is Seta Soujiro. I’m pleased to meet you. I’m looking for a Mr. Muto Shougo?”

“You’ve found him,” the man said. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, it’s you! I’m glad I found you. I was visiting Europe and Himura-san asked me to see how you were doing.”

“Himura? Himura Kenshin?” asked the man he’d been talking to, who was shorter, stout and blond.

“Yes.”

Shougo laughed. “Quite an eventful day, wouldn’t you say, Elsten-san? Two important visitors at once.”

Soujiro gave a modest chuckle. “Oh, it’s not such a big deal...”

“Oh, I think it is,” said the third man. He was even taller than Shougo, with grim Japanese features, but he had curly blonde hair.

“Yes, pardon me,” Shougo added, “This is Kazuhiro Bremer. Since our exile evidently recieved some publicity, some other Japanese Christians have followed us here, including him.”

“That’s not a Japanese name,” Soujiro said. “Are you...”

“My father was a gaijin², yes.”

“I thought so. I have a friend whose name is Kraus; her father was from Germany.³”

“That’s not where my name is from,” Kazuhiro said simply.

“Sou-kun, it looks pretty fine to me. Do we have to stay here?” Kamatari asked, still standing at the foot of the aisle.

“You aren’t thinking of leaving already are you?” Shougo said. “After coming all this way? How ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not,” Soujiro said. He turned over his shoulder. “Kamatari-san, I want to stay here for awhile.”

“It’s getting late. I’m not walking back in the dark,” she said.

“I’m sure we can put you up for the night,” Shougo said. “Our religion teaches us to be hospitable.”

“I’d like that,” Soujiro said.

Kazuhiro opened his mouth, but was immediately cut off.

“Please!” Kamatari insisted. “I’m not leaving my luggage overnight, and I’m not dragging five trunks out here.”

“Well, why don’t you go back to town and I’ll meet you there tomorrow?” Soujiro said.

“Fine!” she said with exasperation, turning and storming out of the church. “Fine! I’ll go. The lady will walk home along the dusty road, alone...”

“Wouldn’t it be better for you to go with her?” Kazuhiro asked.

“It did seem you were a bit cold to your lady-friend just there...” Elsten concurred.

“Oh, she’s just like that. She’s pretty tough, but she likes to complain. Sometimes I think she enjoys being annoyed!” Soujiro said with a laugh. “She’ll probably have more fun in town anyway. She’s a city kind of person.”

“I know that sort,” Elsten said. “I shouldn’t say so much so soon but you two seem rather mismatched.”

“She’s just a friend; we knew each other years ago.”

“So, you both came to see how we’re doing here,” Shougo said, looking at Soujiro and Elsten in turn. “Showing you is better than telling you. This way please?”

Kazuhiro stayed him as he started off. “Muto-san, I need to talk to you.”

“We have guests now. Once I---”

“It’s urgent.”

“All right,” Shougo said, and turned to the guests. “I’ll get Gen’emon to show you our village. I’ll see to your accomodations for tonight and join you as soon as I can.”

Kazuhiro sat down in the first pew as they left, and waited. It wasn’t long before Shougo returned.

“What is this urgent thing you suddenly need to talk to me about?” Shougo asked.

“I don’t think it’s wise to keep that person here.”

“I can’t think you mean Elsten-san, so---”

“Seta Soujiro. Don’t you know who he is?”

“He came here as a favor to a mutual friend.”

“He’s Tenken no Soujiro⁴! Shishio Makoto’s protégé, the killer who always smiles! I don’t think our Lord meant hospitality to extend to such a villain.”

Shougo sighed. “I am not the person to judge him. As long as he comes in good faith, I will treat him as a guest.”

“I admire your idealism, but real life won’t always agree with you.” Kazuhiro sighed. “This place is a sanctuary. I came here because I was weary of the troubles of the world, of the wickedness of heathens like that...”

“We came here to be free, not to hide ourselves away from the rest of mankind. I apologize if that isn’t what you expected when you came.”

“If you’d seen the things I’ve seen, I think you would agree with me,” Kazuhiro said.

“I haven’t,” Shougo said. “But I’ve seen enough.” He turned back to the door, leaving Kazuhiro still sitting, looking at the crucifix behind the altar.

†††

“They’re humble accomodations, but I hope sufficient,” Shougo said.

Soujiro looked around the spare furnishings, a plain bed with a wooden table and chairs. “It’s fine, thank you. I’ve slept outside under bridges in the rain before.”

“Yes, you’ve said several interesting things like that today,” Shougo said, sitting down in one of the chairs. “I’m interested to know more about it. For example, how do you know Himura Kenshin?”

“From what he said, I think it’s kind of like how you did,” Soujiro replied. “I fought him and I lost. I... Well, have you heard of Shishio Makoto?”

“Yes, Kazuhiro told me about your involvement with him. I’d like to know how you got the nickname. ‘Tenken’?”

“It’s short for ‘Tenpu no sai ni yoru ken.’⁵ Shishio-san said the sword came naturally to me, like Heaven made me to be a swordsman, I guess. He was my teacher, since I was eight years old. He told me, ‘only I’ll be stronger than you,’ and only he was, until I fought Himura-san. He said ‘the strong live and the weak die.’ I just believed everything he said...”

“I’m sorry that you were used in such a way.”

“Oh, no!” Soujiro said. “He was a great man. I have a lot of respect for him. There are ways that I still want to be more like him. But I don’t believe in some of the things he said, now that I’ve been able to see the world for myself.”

“So what do you believe in now?” Shougo asked.

“Eh?”

“If Himura told you much about me, you should know that I’ve dedicated my life to my religion---what I believe. Because of that, the subject always interests me.”

“Oh,” Soujiro said. “Well, if it’s about religions then I don’t really have one. I guess I do little things, but I’m not really what you’d call Shinto or Buddhist or anything.”

“That doesn’t matter. I didn’t ask what your religion was, I asked what you believe in.”

“Oh, okay.” Soujiro paused for a long time, considering it. “I do believe in God or the Kami or something like that. And I believe there’s something else after you die, that if you’re good you go to Heaven and if you’re bad you go to Hell. I guess that’s about all I know about. What about you?”

“Of course, I and my people here are Christians.”

“I have a friend who’s a Christian, I think. She has a Bible that she says her father brought from Germany, but she never talks about it much.”

“That’s understandable. We were persecuted in Japan and finally exiled here because of our religion. But you see, we believe that Christ, who was the Son of God, was sacrificed for the sins of all the people in history, and that he rose from the dead and took away those sins, that he offers forgiveness for anyone who believes in him.”

“So if you believe in Christ, then anything bad you do is forgiven and you go to heaven?” Soujiro asked.

“That’s a simple way of putting it.”

“But what if you’re not a Christian, and you don’t believe it? Then you can’t be forgiven for anything?”

“I used to think that. Lately I’m not so sure,” Shougo said thoughtfully.

“I never have believed anything like that,” Soujiro said. “I just don’t think God is that picky, you know. That you can’t go to heaven if you’re not a Christian, or if you don’t get the Buddhist priest to pray for you when you die, or things like that.”

“So, you’ve said good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell,” Shougo said. “What do you think makes someone good or bad?”

“I don’t know,” Soujiro said. “I sometimes think hurting other people makes you bad, but then I think maybe it’s more like doing the best you can, as you see things. Maybe it’s different for everybody. Just... I can feel inside what makes me good or bad. For a long time I couldn’t, but I think I can now, and if I know that, then that’s what’s really important, I think. It must be nice for you, though.”

“How so?”

“Knowing that God forgives you for things you do. Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I still wonder if maybe I’ve done too much and I’ll go to hell when I die. It’s pretty scary sometimes...”

Shougo sighed and smiled. “It’s not as easy as I’ve made it sound. This might seem strange, but it’s easy for a person to think that they believe in Christ, even if they don’t. Back in Japan, I was willing to fight and die for my religion. I thought that if I believed in it that strongly, that there was no way my faith could be misplaced. But even as I thought that, I committed crimes that have no place in Christ’s teachings. I used my religion and the sufferings of my people to justify my own desire for vengeance. None of the villagers would tell you this; they all believe in me, but the way I acted disgraced Christ’s name. Since then, I’ve been rethinking my faith and trying to set myself on the right path again. But I know exactly the kinds of fears you’re talking about.”

“One thing’s for sure, though,” Soujiro said.

“Oh?”

“Himura-san is going to go to Heaven. If he didn’t, I think I’d have to stop believing in God.”

Shougo laughed. “I think you just might be right.”

†††

Soujiro woke suddenly, but didn’t feel fully awake. He was still groggy, and his head and body ached as if with weariness. Couldn’t blame it on the strange bed, he’d spent half his life sleeping in strange beds at best. He looked around to see if the darkness meant it was not yet morning, but the little room had stone walls and no windows, and the clock on the wall was unreadable in the darkness. He squinted at it for some time. One of the hands was at three, maybe, or maybe both...?

He lay back down. No reason not to go back to sleep and hope to feel better when he woke again, but the ticking of the clock echoed across the room, loud as gunshots. Finally he sat up again in bed and leaned his head over his knees. Strangely, it actually made him feel closer to falling asleep.

I was having a dream... he realized, and tried to remember it. The images evaded his grasp like fish, if indeed there had been any images. There was only a voice. No, not even a voice, just words. What did they say...? ‘Vengeance’... It must have been the dream that made him feel so bad.

He rubbed his eye, by now drowsy enough that his hand felt distant and soft.

Okubo Toshimichi. He remembered running after the carriage, keeping pace with it and stepping up into it almost as if it were standing still. Hand over his mouth, deliver the message---why deliver a message to someone you’re about to kill? And then, a small knife was enough, just inward of the eye, right where his own knuckle was resting now, and down...

He jerked his hand back from a twinge of pain. What was that? Gingerly, he touched it again, and it stung like touching an open wound, just inward of the eye and down across his cheek, and wet. He stared at his hand in the dark. Maybe there was blood on it; it was so hard to see...

Whatever it was, it was running down his face and dripping off his chin. He tried to wipe it away with his hand, but it was still flowing, and a little bit sneaked into the corner of his mouth where he could taste it, tasted like metal... Blood!

Even in the dark, he could see the black-red stains soaking into the sheets, could see it on his hands now. What’s happening!? I’m having a nightmare!

He was still staring at his hands. Once, Kenshin had stopped Soujiro’s sword with his hands, and they were dripping blood...⁶ Even as he thought it, hot pains lanced across his palms and the blood burst forth from them.

Soujiro screamed. He threw aside the sheets and ran to the door, but he fumbled with the door-handle in a panic; it was slippery from the blood running from his hands. “HELP ME!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!”

It seemed like an eternity, but suddenly, the door was flung open, knocking him to the floor.

“Seta-san!” Someone took him by the shoulders. Massive hands---must be Gen’emon. “Seta-san, what happened!”

“I don’t know...” he said as Gen’emon helped him to his feet. “I don’t know... how something like this could happen...”

“As you have done”... How many were there? He didn’t even know. Ever since he was eight years old... Shishio’s wakizashi---his brother had tried to take it away from him by the saya, only unsheathed it for him...

Soujiro gave a strangled cry and stumbled against Gen’emon.

“Seta-san!”

He was clutching his neck, breathing heavily as if to be sure he still could. Blood was starting to soak through his shirt-collar...

“DOCTOR!!” Gen’emon shouted. “I NEED A DOCTOR!!”

†††

“Do you have any idea what could have caused this?” Shougo asked as he blew out the lantern. The morning sun coming in through the windows was just getting bright enough to put them out.

Elsten was still gingerly wrapping bandages around Soujiro’s neck as he lay unconscious. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said. “These are deep cuts, but thankfully not deep enough to be fatal. If this had gone through to the veins in his neck, there would be nothing I could do. It’s so strange... The other cuts are one thing, but a circular incision all the way around the neck, deep but without severing anything vital... Someone would have to go to a good deal of trouble to cause a wound like that. It’s almost... almost surgical the way it was done.”

“There was no one in the room with him when it happened. Gen’emon says he didn’t see anyone,” Shougo said.

“That would seem to point to self-infliction,” Elsten said. “But I can’t imagine... As I said, this wound was made with a sort of surgical precision. I can’t imagine anyone being able to do it to himself. ---Leave this one for awhile.”

Shougo had put out the lanterns around the room, except the one on the table by the bed, and left it lit at Elsten’s request. “I spoke to him last night,” he said. “I know it may seem like a short time, but I don’t believe he would do such a thing, even if he could.”

“What did Gen’emon tell you happened?” Elsten asked.

“He said he heard Seta-san screaming and ran in and found him with blood on his face and hands.”

“Didn’t mention the one on his neck?”

“He said he didn’t know what had happened, but when he helped him up, he said Seta-san screamed and fell, and his neck started bleeding.”

“Something like this doesn’t just start bleeding,” Elsten insisted. “Though I almost wish it did. Then we wouldn’t have to think that someone here did this...”

“And I have some idea who.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t want to say anything until I know more. I’ll see what he says when he wakes up.”

“Where is Gen’emon? Now that things have settled down he might remember something else...”

“I sent him into town to get Seta-san’s friend.”

“Ah. That’s good,” Elsten said.

A few seconds passed in silence.

As if on cue, the door slammed open with a deafening boom as Kamatari burst into the room like a tidal wave. “WHAT’S GOING ON!?” she roared. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SOU-KUN!?!?”

“He’s right here,” Shougo said calmly. Elsten was desperately trying to right the last lamp without burning his fingers as Kamatari’s entrance threatened to knock it over from across the room.

Immediately she bore down on Soujiro, and grabbed his collar and shook him violently. “Look what you’ve gotten us into now, you IDIOT! We COULD have just gone back to town, but NO, YOU had to STAY!!”

“Miss, please stop!” Elsten protested. “You don’t want to aggravate his injuries---”

“Who says I don’t!?” she snapped.

“I’m sorry, Kamatari-san,” Soujiro said softly.

“Sou-kun!” Kamatari instantly transferred her hands from his collar to clasping one of his hands. “Are you okay?”

Elsten passed the most bewildered expression he could muster across the two of them to Shougo.

Soujiro wearily ran his free hand through his bangs, and paused to look at the bandage on it. “I guess it wasn’t a dream...”

“Seta-san, can you tell us what happened?” Shougo asked.

“Screw that! We’re leaving!” Kamatari said, trying to drag Soujiro out of bed.

“No! You can’t!” Elsten cried.

“Try and stop me!”

“Please!” Shougo cut in. “Whoever did this is still at large. Soujiro might be the only person who knows who it is.”

“That’s your problem!” Kamatari said.

“I know you want to see whoever did this brought to justice as much or more than I do.”

“But...” Soujiro started. Although his voice was hardly more than a hoarse whisper, the room grew silent to listen to him. “...But it wasn’t anybody,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Shougo asked.

“There wasn’t anybody there... There wasn’t anyone else who did it...”

“Are you saying you did it yourself?” Elsten asked.

“... I guess I did...”

“Sou-kun! What are you saying!?” Kamatari cried.

“No, not like that. But I mean, I guess it had to come from me.” His voice became even more quiet, so soft as to be nearly inaudible. “I did all of this... before...”

“Seta-san, do you want to leave now?” Shougo asked.

“Impossible!” Elsten objected. “He’s in no condition to travel!”

“I’m afraid Elsten-san is right,” Soujiro said. “I’m sorry again, Kamatari-san.”

Grudgingly, she put him back down in bed. “Well, you know I just didn’t want you to miss making your report to Himura.”

“Liar,” Soujiro said.

“It’s just not possible...” Elsten realized, shaking his head. “Someone had to do it...”

“As if there’s anyone in this pathetic little village who could do something like this to Tenken no Soujiro,” Kamatari said.

“‘Tenken no...’?” Elsten turned to Soujiro, who had a faraway look in his eyes. “Seta-san...?”

“I was just thinking about Himura-san,” he said. “I remember when I fought him...”

“You... fought Himura...?”

“Hush. Rest,” Shougo said softly.

The words had scarcely passed his lips when Soujiro’s face pinched tight. He arched his back with a scream of pain.

“What the---!?” Kamatari started.

“His back!” Elsten shouted; he took Soujiro’s shoulders and turned him over to reveal a crimson swath of blood soaking through his kimono.

“Get him off the bed!” Kamatari ordered. Shougo picked him him up and she snatched up the mattress and hurled it against the wall with one hand. Hearing nothing but the “POUF!” of the cushion, she overturned the bedframe. “There’s nothing here...!” she said incredulously. Her resolve returned in a moment and she grabbed Soujiro’s collar again. “Sou-kun! Listen to me!” she shouted, amid Elsten’s protests. “You had sure has hell better not die! Because if you do, then I swear you’ll go to Hell and Shishio-sama will laugh in your face for dying in such a stupid way. Got that!?” He nodded numbly, and she let go of him and dashed across the room to where the mattress had fallen.

“Get him to another bed!” Elsten said, snatching up his medical supplies.

Soujiro was still crying in pain as Shougo carried him out of the room, amid the sounds of the mattress being ripped apart.

†††

It was over an hour later when Shougo opened the door slowly, and down-feathers swirled across the floor in the breeze from it. Kamatari was sitting on the floor in her blouse and skirt, on her knees in the mattress-fluff as if it were a light coating of warm, dry snow.

“Was there anything?”

“No. There wasn’t even a cut in it.”

“Not in his clothes, either, and Elsten couldn’t find any foreign object in the wound that could have caused it.” Shougo paused before continuing. “I had a suspicion of my own. Someone here objected to having Tenken no Soujiro in the village. But he was nowhere near Soujiro when either... ‘attack’ took place. Other than that person, I think you and I and now Elsten-san are the only people who know about Seta-san’s past, and I can only imagine that that’s what this is about.”

“It is. And whoever’s taking their revenge is certainly being artistic about it,” Kamatari said, and turned toward him. “I don’t know how it happened, but I can tell you this. The slash across his back---that’s the wound he gave Himura when they fought. The one in his forehead is Senkaku, some washed-up henchman of Shishio’s. And the one by his eye,” she traced it with her finger on her own face. “That’s Okubo Toshimichi, the Secretary of State. As for his neck, well, I lost count of all the people he’s decapitated in his day.”

“...These are all... They all mirror wounds he inflicted on other people while he worked for Shishio,” Shougo surmised. “Are these all the people he killed?”

She laughed. “Hardly! There were probably at least a hundred more. Haven’t seen any of the ones he sliced in half with a Battou-jutsu⁷ yet.”

Shougo frowned. If they all happen like that... Even if they don’t appear as lethal wounds, I don’t know if anyone could survive the sheer number of them...

“I don’t know about his hands,” Kamatari mused. “That’s not like my Sou-kun; he was always one to go for the ‘instant kill’ shots. Damn, he was cool.

“It’s pretty sick when you think about it,” she said after a pause.

“Oh?”

“Whoever did this... Not only do they know how to cover their tracks, but they put a ridiculous amount of research into it. God, they must be obsessed with Soujiro.”

“...You’re the one who’s telling me all of this,” Shougo pointed out.

Kamatari showed him a harsh smile. “Don’t worry. When I kill him, it’ll be in a fight.”

Shougo sighed. “I hope you get that chance.”

“How is he?”

“Asleep. Elsten wants to keep him that way until tomorrow, to give him a chance to recover at least a little. In the morning we’ll see,” Shougo said, and pulled the door shut behind him.

‘As if there’s anyone in this pathetic little village who could do something like this to Tenken no Soujiro,’ Kamatari thought.

Amakusa Shougo...

†††

When Shougo went to find Kamatari again later that day, she had already left the village. He took the moment of peace as an opportunity to question Kazuhiro, but the family he was boarding with confirmed that, after getting in rather late, he had been asleep in their house at the time the trouble began. And then of course, this last time, he had been nowhere around.

Soujiro’s injuries didn’t worsen as he slept, but Shougo got men he trusted from the village to help him keep watch over him all through the night.

When he woke the next morning, Elsten thought he had recovered enough strength that it would be better to get him back on his feet and in the sun for awhile. Shougo walked through the village with him, and asked him about London, Paris, and Rome, how his stay had been, what he’d seen and what he’d thought of them. He had thought about what Kamatari had said, and it seemed the wounds only appeared when Soujiro was awake and thinking about what he’d done. In the absence of any physical culprit, the recollection of the battle with Himura seemed to be the only thing to have caused the sympathetic wound on his back.

So, he did his best to keep the conversation on other subjects but remain subtle in doing so. Shougo knew the futility of saying “Don’t think about a white bear.”

They were finally coming back for lunch when Soujiro paused by one of the glass windows.

“What is it?” Shougo asked.

Soujiro looked at his reflection in the glass. He’d known they were there, but it was the first time he had actually seen the bandages, wrapped around his forehead and neck and crossed over his nose in an attempt to bandage the wound by his eye. “I’m starting to look like Shishio-san,” he said.

Shougo took his shoulders and gently but firmly pulled him away. “Don’t worry, Elsten is a fine doctor; he’ll have it good as new before long. Now let’s see what’s for lunch. Tell me, what is your favorite food?”

“Takozushi.⁸”

“I’m afraid we don’t have much of that here.”

Elsten was waiting for them inside, and Shougo frowned to see Kazuhiro there as well.

“Ah, welcome back!” Elsten said. “Seta-san, how are you feeling? I trust you had a good morning?”

“Yes,” he said. “I feel better, thank you.”

“Well, thankfully what happened wasn’t terribly serious, medically speaking,” Elsten said. “At this rate you’ll be fit to be on your way in a few days. Assuming your friend shows up again.”

“Oh, she’ll be back. Kamatari-san probably just needs some time to cool down.”

“‘Kamatari-san’?” Kazuhiro asked. “Ohgama no Kamatari⁹?”

“Oh?” Soujiro said. “I guess you know about that...”

“Better not to dwell on the past,” Shougo said.

“The past seems to be a key part of this strange puzzle, though,” Kazuhiro said. “And yet... There’s something about all of this that doesn’t make sense. If wounds that Seta-san has caused other people are being returned to him---that is, the wounds of people he killed---then these would also be fatal in degree, would they not?”

“Only thank God that they’re not!” Elsten said. “Certainly you can’t refute the connection.”

“Stop it!” Soujiro cried. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here! Or like I don’t know what’s going on... I know better than any of you.” He turned away from them. “I’ve tried so hard to do better... I don’t know what I did to deserve this. But how can I say I don’t? No matter what I do, it won’t bring anyone back.”

“You don’t deserve this,” Shougo insisted. “Just rest and don’t worry. We’ll find whoever is doing this.”

“But it’s me!” he said. “I don’t mean to, but... It has to be me! There were times that no one else even knew how it happened... what I did...” Takayama-san...¹⁰ His house burned after that...

Shougo took his shoulders. Thinking like this... “Seta-san, don’t do this to yourself!” But even as he spoke, there were already red stains bleeding through the borrowed kimono at matching points on Soujiro’s chest and back. A moment later he screamed and stumbled. Shougo caught him, and immediately felt the blood soaking through his own clothes where Soujiro’s lower back fell against him.

“Seta-san!” Elsten cried. He snatched up the bottle of ether and a cloth from his medical supplies and called into the kitchen. “Boil water! Shougo, hold him!”

Shougo carefully lowered him to a sitting position, and turned to Kazuhiro. “Get out!”

“What?”

“I said GET OUT!” Kazuhiro started for the door.

“This is more serious...” Elsten said, almost to himself as he held the cloth to Soujiro’s face. As Shougo turned back to see, he was settling into a drugged sleep, but the cloth was turning red. Blood from his mouth... an internal injury...

When he was unconscious, Elsten led Shougo to carry him into the kitchen, and they carefully lay him on a table.

“Do you need me here?” Shougo asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” Elsten said, resorting to shears to get Soujiro’s clothes out from between him and the wound.

“Do your best,” Shougo said, and ran out the door after Kazuhiro.

Kazuhiro was still in sight and turned around when he heard Shougo’s footsteps behind him. “What is it?”

“That’s what I’d like to ask you.”

“What do you mean?”

“What you said caused that to happen!”

“I tried to kill Seta-san just by talking?” Kazuhiro said. “What you’re saying is crazy!”

“With wounds appearing out of nowhere, I’m not sure anything is crazy.”

“Muto-san, people are staring!”

It was true. Villagers were beginning to crowd around them and staring with worried looks at “Shougo-sama” standing there almost in a rage, his kimono soaked with blood.

“And who would you say did such a thing? How? Who else would know enough about Seta-san to do this?”

“I wouldn’t accuse anyone!” Kazuhiro countered. “It looks to me like something no one could do!”

“Then how did it happen?”

“Who knows? ‘”Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord.’”

“That’s not right!!” Shougo shouted. “Don’t say that!!!” Mumbles went through the crowd as he paused before speaking again. “Rest assured that I will find out how this was done, and I will put a stop to it.” With that he turned and left; the crowd parted before him as he went.

†††

Shougo washed off the blood and put on fresh clothes before going to find Soujiro and Elsten, who had moved back to the guest-bedroom.

“This one was more serious,” Elsten said, before Shougo even asked. “But thankfully not as much as it could’ve been. It didn’t damage his spine, and the internal injuries were relatively minor.

“I heard you made quite a scene out there.”

“I did lose my temper,” Shougo admitted.

“Are you so certain that Mr. Bremer is behind this?”

“Yes, more than ever. It was as if this last injury occurred to live up to what he said...”

“He was certainly insensitive, but I don’t see how he could have done it,” Elsten said.

“The factors that rule him out rule out everyone,” Shougo argued.

“It’s almost tempting to think of it as Divine Retribution of some sort.”

“Stop it,” Shougo said. “I don’t want to hear that from you.”

“I can understand that, but...” Elsten paused to collect his thoughts. “Shougo, I saw how suddenly this wound appeared. When I examined it, it went almost halfway through him from the back. And yet there was no damage to his spine, and little damage to the internal organs. What I’m talking about is a wound that not only cut flesh and not bone, but differentiated among soft tissues. I’m telling you it’s impossible for a mortal man to do! There’s no weapon or technique in the world that could cause a wound like this!

“Not that I think such a thing could actually be God’s will...”

“I certainly hope it isn’t,” Shougo said. “Because I was just like Seta-san. And just like Kazuhiro, in fact.”

“Hm?”

“To Soujiro at that time, Shishio was like God. Soujiro believed in his way, and didn’t see how he could be wrong in following that belief... much like the faith I placed in my vengeful and wrongheaded idea of God. And yet, somehow, someone held a mirror up to what we believed and showed us how we were mistaken, that we would each have to find a new truth for ourselves.

“Maybe neither one of us has gotten that far yet, but I know this much. My sister’s God would not do a thing like this,” Shougo said. “And I no longer believe in any God who would.”

A long pause passed between them.

“I want to keep him asleep from now on,” Elsten said. “Whoever is going to be keeping watch on him tonight, I’ll show them how to administer the anaesthetic. I think that with proper care he can survive what’s already happened, but I can’t risk another attack like this.”

“Show me. I’ll do it.”

“I’d advise against that. Last night you hardly slept at all.”

“I’m going to do it, even if you tell me not to,” Shougo said.

“Well, at least get some rest first,” Elsten insisted. “I can take care of things until nightfall. You should at least get a few hours’ sleep until then.”

Shougo rose. “Send for me when you need me. I’ll be in the chapel.”

As he left, Elsten knew that it would be useless to protest.

†††

As Shougo walked to the chapel, several villagers approached him to offer concerns and sympathies, and some even followed him into the church. “Could it be we are keeping someone who has attracted the Wrath of God?” they would say. “Are you feeling all right, Shougo-sama?” And once, an old woman said “Don’t listen to all of them. I admire how you’re helping that boy.” She was the one who realized how exhausted he was, and shooed the others out of the church.

When he had made his devotions, he sat down in the first pew, in the seat against the wall, and leaned against it...

“So here you are! I should have guessed.”

The sunlight was low and red when the voice roused him from his sleep. He turned around and briefly entertained the hope that he was dreaming. Kamatari was standing there at the foot of the aisle, in a green kimono with furisode tied back with a tasuki cord¹¹, balancing a huge scythe over one shoulder.

“What are you doing here with that?” he asked.

“Don’t act as if I’m keeping things from you, Amakusa Shougo,” she said.

“So we know about each other’s reputations,” he said. “So what is this about?”

“You ought to know. I am going to kill Soujiro someday, but until then, he fought alongside Shishio-sama just like me. Hiten-Mitsurugi-Ryuu master or not, I’m not going to let you do as you like with him.”

“You think I did this!?”

“Maybe you didn’t see his strength firsthand like I did,” Kamatari said, “But you know as well as I do that there’s only one person in this village with the skill to do something like this to Tenken no Soujiro even if he wanted to.”

“Not even my technique could’ve caused the wounds he’s suffered,” Shougo argued. “Elsten-san would tell you that.”

“And I’m supposed to believe it on the word of the politician who sided with you against the Meiji goverment?” She laughed and lifted the scythe off her shoulder, easily swinging the iron ball attached to it on a chain. “You’re going to have to do better than that to convince me.”

He knew that look in her eyes. Nothing else was going to satisfy her... “I don’t want to fight you,” Shougo said. “When I came here, I left my sword in Japan.”

“That’s too bad for you!” she shouted. Kamatari twirled the Great Scythe as easily as if it were a baton, creating a veritable wall of destruction in front of her.

Shougo watched closely as she advanced on him, listening as the huge scythe blade chopped through the air... But she was also in complete control of the ball and chain. That’s just as much a part of her weapon. Probably she can lull lesser opponents into watching the blade and dodging right into that iron ball. It’s an attack and defense; creating a situation where I’d be killed before I could get close to her. But he had no plans to do that. Even if he had a sword, he’d sworn never to fight with it again, and didn’t want to give up that promise. If I don’t attack, how can I defeat her...?

It was the scythe that struck at him first; it ripped through the pew he had been sitting on and sent it flying through the air. Shougo saw it coming and dodged onto the seat, used the force from the blow along with his own jump out of the path of the ball and chain. With another kick off one of the pews he landed lightly in the aisle, near the doors. Keeping the fight inside the church was no good; it was limiting his options and would probably end in the sanctuary being destroyed...

He found the door barred, and didn’t have time to open it as Kamatari came at him again, the iron ball sweeping in a deadly horizontal arc across the doorway, but without touching the door. She wasn’t going to let him get away by smashing it open, but he noticed the move in plenty of time to dodge onto one of the side-pews, on the seat where he could move more easily...

“You won’t get away from me that easy!” she shouted, turning toward him again. Her face was painted red and blue from the light of the stained glass window as she sliced away the near aisle end of the pew. Nowhere near Shougo... she had only meant to upset it, expecting him to jump off. He dropped to the floor instead, and sure enough the iron ball smashed through the glass a moment later, showering him with blue, red, and amber shards as he dodged along the floor toward the head of the church.

Kamatari was quick and clever, certainly. An expert fighter, but not like Hiten-Mitsurugi-Ryuu.

Shougo turned, just under a pew at the angle where she wouldn’t see his movement, a split second before she shouted “I see you!!” and the blade swept through the floor just where his path had been. She would already know---there was a slight crunch from the broken glass as he moved across it. He got hold of a shard of it and folded himself into a space out of the way of her weapon, judging by the angle of the last swing and where she would have heard the glass.

Just as he thought, the blade came crashing through the pews a few feet to his left, and sent them flying over his head like debris in a tornado. He waited until he saw the ball coming after it before he held off one of the pews with his shoulder and jumped up to get his footing on one of them even as it clattered into place behind him, behind the broken window where the light was just coming in.

“Here!” he shouted. Kamatari whipped her head around to look at him, just as he needed her to. He held the shard of glass and with tiny sure movement of his hands, caught the light and played it along the broken blue edge. Like calligraphy in light, such a delicate, bold stroke...

The scythe and chain clattered to the floor among the broken pews a moment before Kamatari landed on her knees, her eyes wide with shock, still staring at the fleeting light that had passed. Her mouth twitched as though she were trying to speak. Shougo tossed the piece of glass aside. In the silence that fell between them he could hear the hum of a crowd outside.

“Wuh... wuh... What the hell was that...?” Kamatari managed.

“Hiten-Mitsurugi-Ryuu Rai Ryuu Sen,” he said. Good that she was recovering so quickly; he meant that one to be more gentle than when he had used the technique in the past. He crossed to Kamatari and picked up the scythe, wrapped the chain around it and rested it on his shoulder. “I’m not sure whether you want to help your friend or hurt whoever did this, but either way, I’m not the one you’re looking for.”

“You said you suspected somone...”

“I won’t have you attacking anyone else.”

She nodded. Partly it was probably the effect of the Rai Ryuu Sen, but from what he had heard of Shishio’s organization, probably also Kamatari could understand that he had proven himself stronger than she, even if she couldn’t understand his reasons. Either way, he could see that he had her compliance. “He recently came here from Japan, and is the person who protested Seta-san staying here. His name is Kazuhiro Bremer.”

Kamatari rose unsteadily, dusting off her kimono with her hands. “That sounds familiar...” she said slowly. Shougo waited, but she hadn’t remembered it when she spoke again. “Dammit! I lost again... ” she cursed softly, then gave a slight, bitter laugh. “I even tried fighting for someone else like you pacifist types and it still didn’t work.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Shougo said. “If Soujiro dies, then we can say we lost together.”

“Shut up.” A loud bang sounded as she punched one of the pews. “It’s not fair, damn it!” she said. She seemed at the verge of tears, struggling to be angry rather than sad. “If whoever it is was doing this to me, I’d say ‘hell yeah.’ I deserve it. I was just as bad---tried my best, anyway. And I’m not sorry. I don’t even want to be sorry! But then they go and do this to Soujiro, with how he feels all bad about it and bends over backward to be ‘good.’ Seeing what he gets for it doesn’t exactly sell me on salvation, let me tell you.”

“If that’s true, then what this man is doing to you is even worse than what he’s doing to Seta-san.”

“I said shut up.”

People were rattling the door to the church by this time, and Shougo went to open it, with Kamatari a few steps behind him. Shougo had just begun to lift the bar when Kamatari stopped him.

“Wait! I remember.”

Shougo shouted “We’re all right” through the door as she mumbled under her breath.

“Shit, and me here on vacation.¹²”

“What do you remember?”

“Kazuhiro Bremer is wanted by the Meiji goverment, for questioning in the deaths of a bunch of big-shot politicians and military men,” Kamatari said. “People who were all involved in massacres and things like that, usually of Christians.”

“Anything like what’s happening to Soujiro?”

“No, nothing like that. It was like he’d always be seen around someone within a few days before they committed suicide, or were killed in an accident or sudden sickness. He was never there when it actually happened, and it’s not like there was really anything to accuse him of. It just happened enough times it made people suspicious. The guy’s one hell of a black cat at least.”

Shougo didn’t have a response to that, and lifted the bar and opened the door.

†††

By the time Shougo calmed the crowd and got back to Soujiro’s room, it was growing dark. Elsten had had another bed brought into the room, and when he told Shougo how to administer the anaesthetic, he explained that he would also sleep in the room, so that he would be immediately available in case of an emergency.

Kamatari was difficult to read. At first it seemed that she wanted to keep watch along with Shougo, but the concern she obviously felt at seeing Soujiro unconscious and deathly pale did battle with anger and disgust at him for appearing so weak. About the time Elsten was settling in to sleep, she also excused herself. Shougo warned her again not to go after Kazuhiro, because it seemed obvious she wanted someone to blame, and perhaps ironically, someone to take revenge on, but she gave the excuse that she was tired from the earlier battle. He directed her to another guest bedroom, and watched from the doorway to be sure that that was where she went.

The sleep in the church had probably not been everything he needed, but Shougo sat and looked at Soujiro intently, looking at his back because he was curled up slightly on his side, facing away. Even so, Shougo wasn’t at all tempted to sleep. There was something frightening and painful about watching him. To the trained ear his breathing was shallow and strained, and his slight movements were tight and cautious. Even in his sleep, the injury and pain was perceptible. It was natural to feel some empathy for that, and to scrutinize the sights and sounds of him, lest they indicate a turn for the worse.

Over the course of hours, the rhythm of his breathing and the evening air did have a narcotic effect. But before that could take its full effect, Shougo was roused by a change in that rhythm. He listened closely in case it might be a sign of a new problem, but no. It was faster, less regular. The breaths were beginning to sound intentional.

Shougo quietly picked up the ether and cloth. He just had it ready and was beginning to lean over the bed when Soujiro spoke, very quietly.

“Maybe... Maybe it is Tenchuu¹³...”

“Hush. No,” Shougo whispered.

“‘”Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord’...”

Shougo started. When he came, Soujiro had hardly known anything about Christianity. It was almost impossible that he would have heard and remembered a quotation like that. “Where did you hear that?”

“In my dream...”

“Your dream?”

“In my dream, someone told me, ‘”’Vengeance is Mine,’ says the Lord.” As you have done unto others, so it shall be done unto you.’”

Shougo could no longer contain himself, and shouted aloud. “That’s not right!! That’s not what He said!!!”

Only silence.

He shook Soujiro by the shoulders. “Listen to me! That’s not what Jesus said!” But he realized that Soujiro had drifted back into unconsciousness.

Shougo fell back on his chair by the bed. He took a gasp of exasperation, with his hands toward his face, but he was still holding the unused ether cloth and took a breath of the fumes, and shook his head to try to shake off their effects.

“Shougo-san?” Elsten was sitting up in bed. “What happened?”

“He’s all right. He was only talking in his sleep.”

“But you were shouting---”

“Oh, God save him!” Shougo said, resting his forehead on his free hand. “No one should have to die believing such lies...”

“He’s delirious...?”

Shougo barely heard him. Believing...? Suddenly he was fully awake again. “Elsten-san, tell me something as a doctor.”

“Hm? Um, yes, of course.”

“Is it true that if someone believes that something will happen strongly enough, their belief can cause that thing to happen? Medically speaking.”

Elsten fumbled, still drowsy. “Well, it’s always important for a patient to believe that he will recover.”

“And I imagine the opposite is also true, that a patient who believes he will die is more difficult to save.”

“Certainly.”

“But say,” Shougo went on, “In an otherwise perfectly healthy person; say he was told that he was going to die, and somehow came to believe it very strongly. Might that person then somehow find his way into an accident or succumb to a sudden illness? Or even make it happen with his own hands?”

“It’s possible,” Elsten admitted. “Probably no more than a few extreme cases... You’re not saying that Seta-san...”

“Can you think of a better explanation?”

“Illnesses are one thing, but wounds opening up from nowhere...”

“It could happen...” Shougo said. He felt sure of it, and suddenly hit upon the reason why. “Doctor, what do you know about Stigmata?”

“About what...?”

“Stigmata. Like St. Francis.”

“Manifesting the wounds of Christ. Some saints were said to receive the Stigmata in moments of religious ecstasy.”

“Wounds with no physical cause?” Shougo said, more a declaration than a question.

“I suppose so, but---”

“Wounds caused by belief!”

“Shougo, the Stigmata are a miracle from God. This is...”

“A miracle from Hell,” Shougo said. “But Kazuhiro thought it was a miracle from God. He thought it was his mission to deliver God’s vengeance.”

“Are you saying all of this or am I dreaming?” Elsten asked.

But Shougo was lost in thought again.

Shougo took Elsten by the shoulder and shook him. “You have to wake up!” he said. “I need you to look after things here.”

“What? Why?”

“There’s something else that I have to do,” he said, and growled in frustration. The energy of the realization was already wearing off. “I don’t know if I can stay awake...”

“Shougo, you’re only human,” Elsten said, getting out of bed. “You have to give yourself some rest.”

“Not now. Tonight is a matter of life and death.”

Elsten frowned. “All right, but in the morning I want you in bed, do you understand?”

“Yes. Yes, that would surely be enough time,” Shougo said, and started for the door.

“Wait,” Elsten said, preparing a hypodermic needle. “I don’t follow what you’re saying, but if it’s that important to you, I’m sure there must be something to it. This will keep you awake for a few hours at least.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Shougo said as Elsten took his arm. “I promise to follow your advice as soon as possible.”

“Good.”

The sting of the injection did surprisingly little to shake off the sleep, but Shougo soon began to feel its effects. Undoubtedly sleep would be better; this was a nervous, disorienting energy, but it would have to do. Kamatari’s life might depend on it. “Take care of Soujiro, and shout if you need me,” he said.

“Don’t worry, I will,” Elsten replied.

Shougo ran out of the room and down the hall to Kamatari’s guest room, and threw the door open.

She sat up in bed at the sound. “What is it!? You. This had better be good.”

Shougo looked around. No one in the room except the two of them. “Kamatari-san, have you been dreaming?”

“You burst in here and wake me up just to ask me that??”

“It’s very important! Have you been dreaming!?”

“No,” she said. “I just barely got to sleep.”

“Good, he hasn’t been here yet.”

“What?”

“This is the first night you’ve spent in our village since Soujiro was attacked. I have an idea that Kazuhiro might try to do the same thing to you.”

“By me having a dream??”

“It’s difficult to explain... Elsten is looking after Soujiro; I’m going to wait here.”

“How sweet of you,” Kamatari said, and lay back down in bed. “But you know if you do anything ungentlemanly, I will kill you this time.”

“I know.”

She didn’t say anything else, and he carefully placed a chair in the corner, facing the bed and against the same wall as the door, so that it wouldn’t be immediately visible to someone entering, and sat down to wait. Just as Elsten promised, falling asleep was not a concern. It was a warm night, but the effects of the drug made his body twitch and shiver slightly, craving some sort of motion as he sat still and waited.

Time passed, and although Shougo was still filled with nervous energy, the world around him grew still and silent, just as on any ordinary night. He began to wonder if perhaps he could be mistaken. Perhaps it was all some delusion of his exhausted mind... But he told himself not to entertain the thought. He had to keep vigil here; he couldn’t take the risk that he was right.

A few minutes after this resolve, a pale sliver of light sprang from the doorway, darting across the floor and snaking across Kamatari’s legs as she lay in bed. It yawned wider, very slowly and silently, and admitted someone into the room before shrinking back into that tiny stripe. It was easy to identify Kazuhiro’s height and blonde hair.

He didn’t notice Shougo at first, and quietly crossed the room toward the bed. Shougo slipped silently across the wall behind him and pushed the door the last bit shut with a click. Kazuhiro whipped around and Kamatari began to wake again.

“Shougo,” Kazuhiro whispered. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” Shougo said aloud. “I couldn’t let you do to Kamatari-san what you did to Seta-san.”

“What are you saying I did??” Kazuhiro asked. “How could I, or anyone, be responsible for that?”

“You told him that this would happen to him,” Shougo said. “And somehow you made him believe it so strongly that that belief made it happen.”

“Shougo, you’re exhausted! You’re talking crazy!”

“...The same way you killed people in Japan whom you believed deserved the Wrath of God,” Shougo continued. “You made them believe that they would die for what they did, and their belief brought that fate upon them. But you had never encountered someone like Soujiro before. He may not even have known it himself, but he realized that if he took your words to mean ‘As you have killed, so you shall be killed,’ there would be no hope. So instead, he began to manifest these wounds, so that he would have some chance to survive.”

Kamatari was out of bed now, and she grabbed Kazuhiro and threw his back against the wall, pinning his throat with her arm. It made a strange sight, with her in a ruffled nightgown. “You bastard!” she growled. “Do you think I’d let you do what you wanted with another one of Shishio-sama’s Ten Swords?”

Kazuhiro was silent for a moment. He knew he was caught. “Well,” he said, his voice tight from Kamatari’s hold on him, “I must say, Seta-san is certainly being theatrical about it.”

“Why you...!!!”

He turned his head as much as he could, to look Kamatari straight in the eyes. “But that won’t save---”

Shougo saw it coming, and he threw Kamatari aside and clapped a hand over Kazuhiro’s mouth. “Not again, Kazuhiro!”

Kazuhiro pushed his hand away. “Why are you doing this!?” he demanded. “Siding with these killers against a brother! You are Amakusa Shougo! I thought you of all people would understand what I have to do!”

“Only too well,” Shougo said. “You are the one who doesn’t understand. ‘”Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord.’ He didn’t say it belonged to men, even ones like you or me.”

“Lucky thing for me I’m not a man,¹⁴” Kamatari growled, picking herself up.

Kazuhiro backed away from them, toward the corner where Shougo had been sitting. “You can both condemn me, but remember this:

“You didn’t see me leave.”

If Shougo had been rested, he would certainly have been able to resist the suggestion, but under the drug, he didn’t realize what was happening until Kamatari cursed and ran to the door, and by that time Kazuhiro was nowhere to be found.

†††

Shougo went back to Soujiro’s room while Kamatari was still a long way from giving up the search. The effect of the drug was beginning to wear off.

“So it was Kazuhiro. You were right,” Elsten surmised as Shougo entered the room.

“Yes.”

“So it’s over then?”

Shougo nodded. “We aren’t going to find him, although Kamatari will have to exhaust herself trying before she can be satisfied.”

“What about Seta-san?”

Shougo sighed. “I don’t suppose it is over at that. To Seta-san the damage has been done. The idea has already been put in his head... It’s been hard to see as this was happening, but when I think about it, it’s hard to imagine the strength it must have taken, to go through this instead of giving up and dying, even in the face of that belief.”

“Well, nothing has happened to him yet that isn’t surviveable,” Elsten pointed out.

“You aren’t planning to keep him anaesthetized forever.”

“Of course not.”

“But as long as he believes what Kazuhiro told him...” Shougo trailed off. “What we have to do is change that belief.”

“Explain to him what happened, perhaps?” Elsten suggested.

“No. I remember what he said. He’s become convinced that the problem comes from within himself. I’ll have to deal with that in order to change his mind...” Shougo started. “Doctor, can you wake him?”

“I suppose so, but doing so now would be dangerous. We’ve seen what can happen when he’s awake, and the stimulants would put too much strain on him in this condition.”

“Please do it,” Shougo said. “I think I know how to save him, and I don’t have much time...”

“You seem to have more insight in this situation than I do, so I will if you insist,” Elsten said. “But you must realize that it’s a risk.”

Shougo nodded. “Yes, do it. And may he and God forgive me if I’m wrong.”

Elsten prepared the needle and was in the process of making the injection when the door opened and Kamatari entered.

“What are you doing??”

“I need him awake,” Shougo said. “Even if Kazuhiro had died, it wouldn’t erase what’s been done to Soujiro, but I think I know how to save him.

“How?”

“He just needs something else to believe.”

“Great!” Kamatari said. “So this happens because someone gave him a line of bullshit, so now your bullshit is just the thing to make it better. Spectacular!”

“And when you told him that he’d go to Hell and Shishio would laugh, was that also ‘bullshit’?” Shougo asked.

“Of course it was!!”

Soujiro moaned.

“Whatever you’re going to do, Shougo, now is the time,” Elsten said, getting up from beside the bed.

Shougo took the seat from him. With one hand, he held one of Soujiro’s hands, and with the other touched his cheek.

“Soujiro, listen to me. I have something very important to tell you.”

Soujiro opened his eyes slightly, and they were watery and very blue. Shougo leaned lower over his face and looked intensely into his eyes, and Soujiro returned the gesture as much as he could.

“We’ve found out what’s happening to you,” Shougo said.

“But...”

“You’re under the influence of a technique that transforms your feelings of guilt into physical injuries,” Shougo said. Good! By the look in Soujiro’s eyes, this explanation was making sense to him... “They remind you of that guilt, and the more you let yourself be tormented by it, the more severe these wounds become. But there is a way to defeat this technique.

“You don’t have to feel guilty.”

“Wha... I can’t do that...!” Soujiro protested. “What kind of person would I be if I didn’t feel guilty, after all of that...?”

“‘”Vengeance is Mine,” says the Lord,’” Shougo said. “If it is for God to avenge, would it not be for Him to forgive?”

“Ah!” Soujiro turned to the door as Kamatari left the room and shut it behind her.

“She’s all right,” Shougo said. “Listen to me. God will forgive what you’ve done, and then you can break its power over you. It doesn’t have to hurt you anymore.”

“But... but I’m not...”

“You don’t have to be a Christian,” Shougo said. “You’ve already done the hard part. You’ve repented your sin and you’re trying to live your life in a better way. Now, all you have to do is ask, and accept God’s forgiveness.”

Soujiro moaned; tears ran down his face and his body trembled. Part of it was certainly the emotional stress, but Shougo could also see the risk he had taken by having Elsten wake him. But he wasn’t bleeding. That was a good sign...

“Hush, it’s all right,” Shougo whispered. “Does it sound too easy?”

“No... It’s so hard...”

“I know you can do it,” Shougo said. “You only have to say it. ‘God, please forgive me.’”

Soujiro didn’t reply; he was crying in earnest now.

“Soujiro, please,” Shougo said softly, leaning very close to his face. “Say it with me. Please. ‘God...’”

“Oh, God...!” Soujiro wailed.

Slowly, Shougo led him through it.

“God... please... forgive me...!”

Soujiro’s crying redoubled when he had it said, but Shougo felt good about it. It sounded different now, as if he had broken through some wall in his mind. “There, now,” he said softly. “Don’t worry anymore. It’s all taken care of.”

Shougo kept leaning over him, speaking soothingly to him, as Soujiro gradually settled back into sleep. By then, Shougo had leaned over so low that his head rested on Soujiro’s chest, and by the time the dawn light began to creep in the windows, they were both sleeping peacefully.

†††

In his dream, Soujiro remembered all of them. Of course his adoptive parents and sister and brothers, and Okubo, Senkaku, Takayama and his family... But when he was awake, there were so many that he’d lost count of them, that he couldn’t even begin to remember them all. Police who disappeared into their uniforms and fell before him like so many toy soldiers, so many minor assassinations of whom there had been no survivors to remind him of them later on...¹⁵ There could have been hundreds of them, all told. He didn’t know.

Even in his dream, he couldn’t say how many. Dreams don’t deal in numbers. But in his dream, he remembered all their faces. He saw them all one by one. He was laying there in bed, and maybe he dreamed that he was dead, because the wounds were all over him, not just the ones that had befallen him when he was awake, but all of them that he had ever done, and all those people came and took back their own death-wound from him, like pulling a red thread out of a wound. Letting them go hurt almost as much as having them to begin with, but he was too weighed down by all of them even to scream, and by the time that was no longer true, he was too exhausted, because they came one by one, but so quickly, one after another, it hardly gave him time to breathe.

Just when it had begun to seem that he had killed an infinite number of people and the dream would never be over, one walked away and another didn’t immediately set upon him. He lay still catching his breath, trying to discover what had happened. His body was almost whole again---only his hands and his back still burned.

The mattress sank down beside him. Someone was sitting on the bed... “Himura-san?”

“I thought it would be better to let you have a rest.”

“Yes, thank you! But... you’re not dead.”

“You still felt guilty about injuring me,” Kenshin said. “You wanted forgiveness for that, too.” He picked up one of Soujiro’s hands and started gently rubbing his palm.

“Do you forgive me?”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t. But even if that weren’t true, I’d still say yes, I do.” He blew on Soujiro’s hand, and a scrap of red ribbon fluttered out of it.

“It’s just...” Soujiro began, as Kenshin started rubbing his other hand. “I know that Muto-san was telling the truth, and I believe you when you say it. It’s just hard to believe...”

“You said you were sure that I would go to Heaven,” Kenshin pointed out.

Soujiro blushed. “Well, that was...”

“It’s all right. I’m honored you think that. But why would it be so easy to think that about me, and so hard to think so about yourself? Tenken no Soujiro was hardly any worse than Hitokiri Battou-sai. And now you’ve done your best to make amends and do good with your life. It isn’t really so different.” He blew the cut off of Soujiro’s other hand and helped him up to expose the wound on his back.

“But... I mean, I haven’t done anything really great like you, you know...?”

“Now you are embarassing me!” Kenshin said with a laugh. “But do you think you have to save Japan from Shishio to be forgiven for what you did? I think, for me, the way I live my life from day to day is a greater achievement than anything like that. There are people who love you and would say the same about you.”

“That’s true, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s better to get this one all at once,” Kenshin said, looking at the cut across Soujiro’s back. “Are you ready?”

Soujiro took a deep breath and nodded, and Kenshin took hold of it and made one decisive pull.

Soujiro woke with a start, and turned his head away from something cold and metallic against his face. “Seta-san!” He looked up to find Elsten sitting beside the bed, holding a pair of shears. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” he said. “But better...”

“You were running a high fever for hours; I was afraid we were going to lose you to an infection, but now the wounds are almost completely gone---I suppose the fever must have resulted from your body repairing them so quickly. Let me just take these bandages off...” He took the bandages across Soujiro’s nose and cheek, snipped through them with the scissors and lifted them away before brushing his hair aside and carefully cutting away the bandages around his forehead.

Kamatari was standing over the bed, and she leaned over him and held a hand-mirror up to his face. “See, Sou-kun? Good as new.”

“Not even scars,” Elsten said. “It’s incredible. I’d write an article about this, except that I’m sure I’d be drummed out of the Royal Society for such an unbelievable story.”

Soujiro looked at the mirror. It was true---the wounds on his face were entirely gone, without even a scar, and he smiled at seeing himself back to normal. “Where’s Muto-san?” he asked.

“Shougo exhausted himself with worrying about you,” Elsten said, and looked over his shoulder. Soujiro followed his eyes to where Shougo lay on the other bed, fast asleep.

Soujiro yawned. He still felt rather exhausted himself. “That sounds like a good idea,” he said, and leaned back on the pillow and closed his eyes. He fell asleep to the sound and sensation of Elsten carefully snipping the bandages away from his hands.

†††

“You know, I just thought,” Yahiko said, pausing in his practice and resting the shinai¹⁶ on his shoulder. “With Soujiro in Europe, I wonder if he’ll meet Yutarou.”

“I asked him to visit Yutarou-dono, and Muto Shougo,” Kenshin said, up to his elbows in laundry.

“I wonder how they’re all getting along.”

“I think it’ll be just fine,” Kenshin said. “It’s interesting you mentioned it. I had a dream about Soujiro last night.”

“Hmmm? What happened in the dream?”

“Well, it was kind of weird,” Kenshin said.

“Come on!” Yahiko insisted. “Now you have to tell!”

“I really don’t think I should...”

†††

“I’m sorry your visit here was so unfortunate,” Shougo said. He and Elsten were standing around the path out of the village with Soujiro and Kamatari, who were preparing to leave.

“No, you were a good host,” Soujiro said.

“The worst part of it is that Bremer is still on he loose somewhere,” Kamatari said. “He’d better hope I never find him.”

“I know what you mean,” Shougo said, “but in a way I wish I could see him again. To think, he had a technique that could produce such profound faith in what he said. Such a strange and wonderful ability...”

“Strange and terrible, you mean,” Kamatari said.

“Terrible that he chose to use it as a killing technique,” Shougo said. “I’d like to have another chance to persuade him someday.”

“What’s the use with someone like that?” Kamatari said.

“Now you’re sounding like him,” Shougo pointed out.

“Why you!!”

Soujiro stealthily interposed himself between Kamatari and Shougo. “I hate to say it, but I think we should go.”

“I understand,” Shougo said. “Feel free to come again if you can.”

“I’ll tell Himura-san good things about you.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Have a safe journey,” Elsten said, as they turned to go.

“Yes, and Godspeed,” Shougo added.

Kamatari laughed as they walked away. Apparently her good humor was back.

“What is it?” Soujiro asked.

“He told you ‘Godspeed.’ It’s kind of funny,” she said.

They walked down the path in silence until the village disappeared behind a hill, at which point Kamatari stretched her arms as if freed from some weight. “Finally! I am so glad to be out of there.”

“I don’t know, they were nice people,” Soujiro said. “I hope I can see them again sometime.”

“Well, sometime, but right now I was starting to think we’d have to give up part of our tour. It wasn’t worth missing Moscow for. But finally we’re on our way. Next stop, Germany!”

Soujiro nodded. “I always wanted to see where Aiko’s father was from. ---Oh, I almost forgot!”

“What?”

“Himura-san had a friend in Germany, too, who he wanted me to see.”

“Are you crazy!? You barely survived this one!”

“Well, I know he didn’t mean anything like this to happen...”

“Well, all right, but if this one tries to kill you, I’m not saving you,” Kamatari said, crossing her arms.

“Okay.”

“I mean it, I really won’t.”

“I think you would anyway,” Soujiro said.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

But I knew that’s what you would say, Soujiro thought, and continued toward town with an amused smile.